The Obituary...

It is with heavy hearts that we announce the sudden passing of our Keurig Hot Classic Series K50 Brewer. Leaving to mourn its owners of seven glorious, jittery years, Brad and Lauren. Predeceased by its grandfather, the coffee percolator.

Keurig came into our lives when we needed it most, as a first wedding anniversary gift from Brad. We were new parents at the time to a six week old baby, and so there was no better time for an instant coffee maker than that very moment. Screw the anniversary band, I needed to be adequately caffeinated.

Keurig proved to be amazing at it's job. Brewing delicious, hot coffee in several different flavors for its adoring owners in a matter of seconds. In the beginning, Keurig got us through long nights filled with erupting teeth and gas pains. It then got Brad off to work the next morning and helped me keep my sanity until nap time.

Keurig brewed us at least two steaming cups of sanity every day for the last seven years. At least. It bought us a few extra hours of wakefulness after the kids went down so that we could actually spend time together instead of fall asleep without having a conversation or maintaining an intimate relationship.

Keurig never judged. Keurig didn't care that I would sneak a real cup of coffee when I was pregnant, or that some days I would all but stick my head under its spout and pour the coffee directly into my body. Keurig never commented when I drank cup after cup, burning the guts out of myself as I attempted to survive the sleep terror that was Liam. The little bugger slept in 45 minute to one hour intervals for the first two and a half years of his life. Without Keurig, we would all be dead.

When it was time to return to work after maternity leave, Keurig assisted me through many a day shift, and more importantly, hundreds of lengthy night shifts. Keurig was always there when we needed it. A glowing blue beacon on the counter top. Leading us into wakeful happiness.

I have said in the past to friends that I lie in bed at night and look forward to pouring my coffee the next morning. I don't know what I will do tonight when I lay my head down, knowing there will be no blue light to welcome me into the dark kitchen tomorrow.

Keurig, you were everything I could have ever wanted and more. You gave me life in my darkest hours. I will never forget you. Rest peacefully.