Be a Woman Other Women can Trust...

Avery,

You have been a fierce spirit since the moment you were born. You are independent, argumentative, you ask questions, and you are full of spite. Your daddy calls you a little buzz saw, and although you make me crazy at times, I know that these qualities will one day make you into a strong and powerful woman. I am working to hold on to these characteristics without losing my mind in the process. It is not easy, but it is so important.

I know that you can be anything you want to be when you grow up. You tackle everything head on. You work hard. Your determination amazes me. You love dolls and tap and ballet and acro-jazz, but you also love math and problem solving and tearing strips off anyone who stands in your way. You are a beautiful balance of soft and strong. A perfect storm brewing to take on the world. You make me so tired, but so, so proud.

Recently, your mama has been thinking a lot about her own friends and how important other women are in her life. When you get to a certain age, you realize that you have weeded people out of your life who don't contribute anything good to it. I think I have finally arrived at that point, and looking at the women around me now, I feel so incredibly lucky.

In our new town, back home, in Toronto, in Nova Scotia, I have managed to somehow find the most amazing, supportive, strong, hilarious, and smart women. They are powerful, they are fierce, and they lift each other up. Some of them have daughters who I know will grow up to be just like them and it makes me breathe a sigh of relief for the next generation. Most importantly, they are women that other women can trust.

Avery, I can not stress this enough. Be a woman that women can trust.

Women don't have it easy these days, even still. We are still body shamed, mom shamed, sex shamed, basically every other type of shamed you can imagine. The worst part about this, is that we do it to each other. We let jealousy and hatred cloud our judgement and we tear down women in our path when we should be lifting them up along with us.

Don't be that kind of woman.

Be a dancer. Be loud and funny and ferocious. Be athletic. Be strong. Be great at math and science and reading. Grow up to be powerful and passionate and to fight for what you believe in.

But most importantly, grow up to be a woman that other women can trust. Be respectful of other women's careers, their choices, their bodies. Their marriages.

Avery, you can be so many things, and I will be so proud of your success. But I can not tell you how proud I will be of you if I can look at you and know that you are a trustworthy woman. Because you can say a lot of words, you can throw the word "feminist" around like confetti, you can pride yourself on being powerful and strong, but if other women can't trust you, what is the point?

Be an ally, always. Be real. Be a good person. But most importantly, be a good woman. Even better, be a great woman. And know that no matter what path you take in life, if you grow up to be a great woman, a trustworthy woman, you will always have other great women in your corner. And with them behind you, you will always be successful in everything you do.